Children with emotional competence are more likely to be empathic. They can understand how others might be feeling. They are also more likely to help others and find ways to deal with negative situations. Children who are emotionally healthy are likely to do well in school and engage in positive relationships with other children and family members.
1. Develop a SECURE relationship with our children.
The more secure the child’s attachment with the nurturing adult, the easier eventually for the child to be independent of that adult and to have a good relationship with others. Study shows that sensitive and responsive care is important for the optimal growth and development of each child [1].
The best time for the nurturing adult, specifically the mother to develop the attachment is during a direct BREASTFEEDING session with her baby. A baby who is secure will show some protest when left alone with a stranger or alone in an unfamiliar environment around her/ his 1st birthday and will greet her mum warmly when seeing her and wanting to be near her before exploring again. By BREASTFEEDING, the emotionally healthy feeling can be easily developed and maintained between a mum and her baby.
2. Being MERCIFUL towards our children.
Aishah (may Allah has mercy on her) said,’ a Bedouin came to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him) and said, ‘Do you kiss your son?’ We do not.’ The Prophet said to him ‘I cannot put mercy in your heart when Allah has uprooted it from your heart’ [2]. Kissing and cuddling our children are some of the ways to show our mercy towards them.
‘He who doesn’t have mercy on our young, and does not acknowledge the honor of our grown-ups does not belong to us’ [3]. A merciless heart reflects a harsh and stern personality. A child who does not receive merciful acts from their caregiver specifically their mother will likely develop lower social skills and lower communication skills. ‘BREASTFEEDING time’ is the best time to show our mercy. Let us remind ourselves to always be merciful to our children.
These 2 qualities will mold their character to become an independent learners. BREASTFEEDING is a great tool to allow this relationship to be built.
Last but not least, dua is the greatest tool that we have as a mother for our children. Don’t forget the power of dua from a mother to her children. May Allah protect them and make them emotionally healthy children. Ameen.
Bibliography:
[1] Impact of attachment, temperament, and parenting on human development by Yoo Rha Hong, and Jae Sun Park, Published online 2012 Dec 20.
[2] Sahih Bukhari
[3] Sahih Ahmad and Al-Bukhari
Reference:
- Child psychology, Social development: attachment (Islamic Online University)
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3534157/
- http://en.islamtday.net/artshow-425-3235
- http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/Pages/PDF/Emotions_ANGmcP.
